Personally, I sincerely envy people whose family supports or at least does not interfere with the hobby of their relative. I travel a lot and talk to different people at repair stations. And do you know what is the most common top phrases about the motorcycle world collected over the past 5 years as a technologist?
– I have always dreamed of a motorcycle, but my family, children, I had to save up for a car, then for an apartment, all there is no time.
– I bought a motorcycle, but my family did not support me and I got tired of arguing with them.
– I was disappointed in the motorcycle world, because I rode alone all the time, and my family demanded to take a car so that I would take them to the dacha.
– This prejudice towards motorcyclists is rather tired. Especially when a girl is on a motorcycle, there are a lot of stupid questions in my direction and caustic jokes.
On my own behalf, I will add a fad about newcomers who abandon the motorcycle world, because they did not have time to find strong connections, and the family not only did not help develop skills, but completely killed the dream of becoming a motorcyclist. Consider the situation of what to do when relatives eat a teaspoon of your brain for wanting to ride a motorcycle.
Dialogue is always two
It is good to sit down at the negotiating table when they are ready to listen to you. It makes sense to explain that a motorcycle will make you a happy person, and not a kamikaze psycho, if they are ready to at least listen to you. This is the first, most important and basic thing to find out. Is your family ready to negotiate?
I had the worst case. A categorical “no” in the absence of any adequate arguments. It was impossible to leave the keys or documents at home, because it was all hiding and instead of going to work or study, you had to wander and look for where it was hidden. And at one point it came to the cut wheels. Just because. We do not want you to have a motorcycle – and no good reason. From that moment on, the motorcycle never stood near the house again and no one knew in which area of the city the garage with my battered unit was located.
If you are not ready to listen, then there is no need to waste your nerves on arguments. It is enough to find an opportunity to minimize the conflict. When the family is so annoyed with the motorcycle outside the house, you can look for a place to park it elsewhere. Spend time driving on the track or even dabbling in motorsport if you are all happy with that option. In any case, it is stupid to demand understanding from someone who does not want to listen and be understood.
I am not everything
The first argument that relatives use in fear for your health is that ALL motorcyclists crash. Shouts about:
– They ALL drive like crazy!
– They ALL have accidents, fall and are in hospitals with fractures!
– But that one crashed, this one crashed, the brother of the mother-in-law of the fifth sister on the grandmother’s line of the neighbor also had an accident. ALL motorcyclists are suicide bombers and you wanna be this / that?
Begins a general comparison of you alone with some “all”. First, you need to understand that the term “everything” originates from the news columns. Nobody writes in the news about cool and proper motorcyclists who do not violate traffic rules, ride with care for others and have never had an accident. Our world is so arranged that the news is full of headlines about reckless drivers, announcements that someone needs help after an accident, about thefts, violence, pain and suffering. Only true amateurs write about the joy of a long-distance person on a motorcycle or the beauty of a night city behind the wheel of a sportbike. So the negative role of the motorcyclist is obtained, who is the only king on the road to the first intersection.
Second, you need to remind your family that you are not everything. That you are responsible for yourself. Until they begin to separate you from “everyone,” the controversy will continue to slide into primitive generalizations. As if you, as you are, will cease to exist after boarding a motorcycle. Your family is afraid that you will leave them in the motley mass of the motorcycle world and disappear into it.
You are an egoist!
One of the most beloved and delicious statements has a subtext: how dare you live your life at all, but what about us, what about me?
Usually only one person, a mother, a wife, says this … Husbands are only glad to have a motorcycle rider, fathers are wary of their daughter in a helmet, but secretly proud of her. The root of the accusation of selfishness is fear. You need to understand that people at this moment are afraid not so much for you and your future, but for their own life. I’ll explain now. They are afraid of what will happen to them if you crash. How will their lives be disrupted? What expenses will this entail? But what if you are the only child in the family, but what about that glass of water, about which they talk to you since childhood, who will bring it if you break?
From the moment you stop seeing fear for yourself in other people and begin to notice in this fear for their own future, the accusation of selfishness simply loses its force.
Although the antidote to the accusation has already been invented for a long time, they say, is it not selfishness to force a person to give up a dream, just because this dream does not suit others?
It is expensive!
An extreme argument. Expensive, inconvenient, you can’t take a lot of things … Expensive. Of course it’s expensive. Someone gets a thrill through mountaineering, someone through water rafting, for someone to drop the entire salary on an expensive bourbon is already an adventure. Why is the life of a motorcyclist worse than any other hobby, which is just as dangerous and is essentially not cheap? How many people are crippled or dying because of nonsense? Nobody is immune from this. No matter how expensive your motorcycle is, there is no guarantee that changing it to a safe car to carry all the grandmothers, ten sacks of potatoes and eight boxes of seedlings at once, you will not have the same accident.
For someone, buying a cheap Chinese is already an event that will make him a happy person without huge costs.
At the expense of the inconvenience. Guys, well, you’re not going to work as a taxi driver. For convenience, the family has a workhorse, in which, according to the logic, everyone should invest, otherwise the family goes to the dacha and barbecues, and Uncle Vasya alone has to change the oil seals. Of course he will dream of a motorcycle after that.
When life as a motorcyclist makes you happy and you can show it to your family, they will come to terms with your choice. The best way to show that you are serious is to level up your experience. When you have friends in the motorcycle world, you will receive the main support from them. This will compensate for the dissatisfaction of relatives, if it still remains.
I bet many of them dreamed of a motorcycle in their youth, they are just angry that they could not realize their aspiration. Show them it’s okay. Ride a deuce, maybe even take someone to the training area. Why not?
When a person’s family is against his passion for a motorcycle, you have no choice but to try to explain that stereotypes are mostly far-fetched, no one is immune from accidents, and everyone has only one life to fulfill their dream.